


Dean the Demon

by megacookie2002



Series: Destiel [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon!Dean, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 22:16:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8640241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megacookie2002/pseuds/megacookie2002
Summary: This is the real reason Castiel was upset that Dean was a demon. 
Or:
Castiel's point of view of Dean being a demon





	

**Author's Note:**

> *This is during 10.02 and 10.03*
> 
> Angels can see souls, right? That's how they know whether a demon's a demon or not by just looking at it, correct? And a demon's soul is black and ugly and scarred, right? Because they were tortured and are now evil, correct? And Dean, The Righteous Man, has a very vibrant soul because he's The Righteous Man, right? Dean's soul must be very bright and beautiful because he is The Righteous Man. Okay, now that we've gotten those things clear, think of them when you read this:

“ _Yeah, um . . . not so much. Cas . . . Dean's a demon.”_ Castiel freezes, shocked by the news. He's in disbelief. This couldn't be true, not really. “Dean's a demon?” Castiel replies, slightly angry, shocked, and heartbroken. “How?” Castiel asks, his voice filled with anger. Castiel has forgotten about Hannah, and now all he can think about is Dean. _“The Mark – I-I guess it – It just messed him up. I don't know,”_ Sam replies to Cas. Castiel covers his eyes with his hands and he pinches the bridge of his nose. “That is a vast understatement,” Castiel replies, looking to his right. _“Right. Now, Cas, listen. I know you're not feeling so hot, but this is kind of an ''all hands on deck'' situation here, so . . .”_ Sam drifts off. “So . . . I'll meet you there.” Castiel tells Sam. _“Yeah.”_ Castiel hears the beep of the phone hanging up.

Castiel turns to look at Hannah. He gulps as he knows what he has to tell her. He knows he has to go back, he knows he has to help. And not just because Sam asked him too, he has to do it for Dean. Dean is in trouble, Dean is a demon, Dean needs him. 

“ _We're family. We need you . . . I need you.”_

He is determined to help Dean, to make him human again. Castiel had been angry about the Mark and had told Sam to watch out for him. No one really understands how powerful The Mark was, or what it could do. It seemed that, just like Cain, it didn't quite let go. Cain was turned into a demon, and so was Cas. 

Castiel loved Dean, still does, and will love him until he himself dies, and perhaps still then. His love for Dean won't let go, just like The Mark won't let go of Dean. 

But Dean being a demon . . . Castiel isn't sure he can handle that. Dean's soul is . . . it's so bright and beautiful. Sure, Castiel can choose to see Dean in his human form, but Castiel often finds himself looking at Dean's soul. Who wouldn't love the chance to see The Righteous Man's soul? It's bright, white, beautiful, warm. The exact opposite of a demon's.

A demon's soul is scarred, broken, black, dark, evil, cold. Everything Dean's isn't. Castiel knows that as soon as he sees Dean again, he will be confronted with the soul of a demon and not the soul of the man he fell for. The man he had fallen in every way imaginable for. The man he fell in love with.

This will be someone different, a stranger. Someone who was more broken than the soul that he had pieced back together after he raised him from Purgatory. That's what scared Castiel the most. Not whether Dean, who was now a demon, would kill him, hate him, spit awful words at him. No, none of those things. He was scared that he would never see _his_ Dean again, and all he would remember is _this_ Dean. This horrible, awful Dean who didn't care about anyone, who was selfish, who wants to kill. 

“Hannah, I am needed somewhere else, so it seems,” Castiel informed her with a tired look on his face. Her eyebrows furrowed together, seemingly confused. “Somewhere . . . else?” Hannah questioned him, not quite understanding. “The Winchester's . . . they need me. I must go to them, it is quite urgent,” Castiel tells her, his face becoming serious. “More urgent than the mission?” Hannah asks him, her face now urgent, practically begging him to stay. “Yes, I would say that this is _far_ more urgent than the mission,” Castiel shares with her. Hannah straightens up, seeing how serious Castiel is. “Then I will come to assist,” Hannah shares with him.

Castiel frowns. “Are you sure?” Castiel questions, knowing she is not a fan of the Winchester's, especially Dean. “I wish to help you, no matter what, where, or _who_ it is,” Hannah replies. Castiel nods as they get into the car.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Hannah questions him after they have been in the car for a while, and it is nighttime outside. Hannah faces him as Castiel stares at the road. “If you wanted to stay behind . . .” Castiel drifts off, his eyes looking at her and back to the road. He didn't want to have this conversation with Hannah. He was drowning in his thoughts on how Dean was no longer human, and what they would have to do if they couldn't save him.

Castiel wanted to cry at the thought. “I didn't. I just . . .” Hannah insists, before releasing a sigh as she faces the road in front of them. “Castiel . . . I think the Winchesters are a bad influence on you.” Hannah explains in a motherly tone as she faces him. This time Castiel glances slightly her way before focusing on the road once more. “Sam and Dean may be a bit rough around the edges, but they're the best men I've ever known.” _Or were._ “And they're my friends.” _Except that I want Dean and me to be more._

 

Castiel makes it into the bunker, new stolen grace swirling in his body. He makes it inside of the bunker and can distinctly hear Dean yelling for Sam. Castiel runs through the maze before finding him. Sam drops the blade, and Castiel has no idea whether Sam saw him or not. All he knows is that he goes forward just as Dean does and wraps his arms around him.

Dean grunts as he struggles in Castiel's arms. Dean was worse than he imagined. Despite knowing the truth, Castiel thought that Dean might still have his soul, the beautiful, pure soul that Castiel loved. But instead, it was this black, charred, scarred thing. It was in the shape of Dean, but with ram horns on its head. Dean's face was like wax that was frozen as it was in the middle of melting. The rest of his skin missing chunks of it, and black as if frostbite has touched it and he was being burned alive at the same time. Scars littered what was left of his skin, and his clothes were torn.

And his eyes, that were usually green were now black. His fingernails and toenails were black claws, and his teeth were razor sharp, and his tongue like a snake's. Dean was a demon and was horrible. 

Castiel knew that if he had to meet Dean in this state, he could grow to care for him like he had cared for Meg. But, since he knew how beautiful Dean had once been, it seemed impossible. He couldn't possibly love Dean as a demon, not when he knew how he had once been. 

All of his feelings for Dean were shoved down, and anger replaced them. This _demon_ had taken _his_ Dean. Whoever this monster was, was going to pay for what it had done to the man he loved. He would rip it apart and hide all if its body parts where they would never become one again, if only to avenge _his_ Dean. Castiel knew that's what Dean would want. He would hate who he had become. Someone who would try to kill Sam, someone who was the very thing he had feared becoming all those years ago.

“It's over. Dean, it's over,” Castiel tells him, his eyes glowing a light blue with the stolen grace. Dean growls. “Aaaaah!” Dean cries out in frustration, and Castiel can hear Dean's voice and his demonic voice combined. “It's over,” Castiel tells him again, knowing Dean can't get out of his grip. 

It hurts like hell to have to take Dean downstairs to the dungeon, where they lock him away again as Sam does the treatments. Castiel stays, and watches Dean, to ensure that he doesn't escape, and Sam has to go because he can't stand to watch his brother fall apart. 

“You think this will stop anything? So what? I'll become human again? Become fragile again? Is that what you really want? Huh? Come on Castiel, I know you want to stop having to worry about me all the time because I'm so fragile,” Dean tells him after Sam leaves, taunting him. “I don't think you're fragile, Dean. And you being a demon wouldn't be worth anything,” Castiel bites back, glaring at him. Dean's demonic form is ugly, truly horrendous, and Castiel looks at the vessel instead, but that only hurts more. 

“Not even me loving you back?” Dean pouts. Castiel's eyes glow dangerously, a warning to the demon that used to be Dean. Dean laughs. “Oh trust me, I know all about how much you just love me. I mean, you dragged me from Perdition, rebelled against heaven for me, have died for me more than once, and you always stick by me. You always want to help, and you always choose me over heaven. Because you love me, right?” Dean questions tauntingly.

“Not you, not this demon that you are,” Castiel replies with ease. “But the human me, that aspect of me you love,” Dean clarifies with Cas. “I do love you, you are like family to me. At least, the human you,” Castiel tells him. Dean laughs. “Sure, sure you do, angel. No, I believe you are _in_ love with me, but you don't want to admit it.” Castiel doesn't answer and just glares at him. “See, what I don't understand is, why don't you love me as a demon? You fell for Meg, you cared about her a lot. What's the difference between Meg and me? Huh? Was she prettier or somethin'? ''All that thorny pain'' and whatnot?” Dean asks him.

Castiel remains silent and looks away from Dean, not wishing to discuss this with someone who wasn't in his right state of mind. “Or is it because you didn't care about her the way you care about me? Or is it because my old self was kinder, and my soul used to be bright, right? Now my demon form is too ugly for you to look at, because you remember how I used to be,” Dean tells Cas. Castiel looks at him, his eyes glowing.

Dean barks a laugh. “I knew I was right on the mark! Oh, you poor, poor angel. It sucks, you know? Because –” Sam comes in and gives Dean another dose. Dean passes out, and Castiel doesn't have to listen to this torture anymore as Sam once again disappears.

 

Sam comes in later, Dean still out, as he gives him another dose of the blood. This was supposed to be Dean's last one, and if it didn't work, Castiel would take care of it, no matter how much it hurt. Dean doesn't wake, and Sam is worried as he sets the needle down.

“What the hell are we doing to him, Cas?” Sam questions Castiel, hopeless. “I mean, even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn't want to be cured, that he didn't want to be human,” Sam explains to Cas, confused as hell. “Well . . . I see his point. You know, only humans can feel real joy, but . . . also such profound pain. This is easier.” Castiel tells Sam, remembering what it was like before he fell, and what it was like to be human. Sam looks at Cas, but Castiel is focused on Dean.

As the treatment goes on, his demonic figure begins to look less evil. His skin begins to look less horrendous, his horns shrink, his claws shrink. He still isn't his Dean, not quite, but he's getting better. But maybe Dean is tricking Castiel, making him believe that he is getting better when really, it isn't doing anything. But, it isn't really _Dean._ It's the demon, not Dean. It doesn't deserve that title. Doesn't deserve what that name means to him.

The demon begins to stir, waking up with a grunt. Sam opens the holy water, and Castiel is on his guard, holding his angel blade in front of him, ready to attack. Castiel looks at the demon's vessel, to see if it's still there. He feels his heart drop as the demon's eyes are black when they open. But it rises, as the black fades away to nothing, and Dean, _his Dean_ , is back. The green eyes there and Castiel feels relief.

Dean, or what Castiel believes is Dean, groans hoarsely and then exhales sharply. Castiel and Sam are on their guard, just in case this is a trick, but Castiel is hoping that it isn't. As Dean, or the demon, lifts his head again, Castiel and Sam look at him skeptically.

“You look worried, fellas,” Dean says with a small smile as he slightly squints his eyes, causing the small lines by his eyes to show some. Castiel and Sam share a look. They needed to be sure. Sam throws the holy water on Dean, and Dean flinches back. But nothing happens. No sizzling, no pain, nothing. Sam is convinced, and Castiel looks at him once again but looks at his _soul_. Castiel almost exclaims with joy. It was _Dean's_ soul. It was bright, white, beautiful, and everything Castiel loved. He was _human._ Castiel almost cried at the sight. Souls were beautiful and indescribable. All Castiel could describe one as is white, bright, and filled with power. They were hot and beautiful. At least, human one's were.

“Welcome back, Dean,” Sam says with a smile on his face, relief in his eyes. Dean looks at Castiel, and Castiel is looking at Dean's human form. Castiel is smiling slightly. Dean seems to absorb everything that happened. 

 

Castiel knocks on Dean's door later, after he has told Sam that the Mark of Cain will still be a problem. Sam brushed it off, and Castiel knew he should too. Dean was back, the one he loved, but he kept on wondering what the demon was going to tell him before Sam interrupted and he passed out. Probably a lie that would only break Castiel further. Castiel always hoped Dean felt the same way he did about him, and at some point, he was convinced, but it was an illusion, something he had thought of when he was crazy. Before Purgatory, when Dean had told him he'd rather have him cursed or not.

“Yeah,” Dean answers from inside before he clears his throat. Castiel enters the room, Dean sitting on his bed, his hair still the way it was before. “You look terrible,” Castiel says bluntly, squinting his eyes. Dean chuckles softly. “You know, it wouldn't kill you to lie every now and again,” Dean tells him. “No, it wouldn't kill me. I just . . . You –” Castiel doesn't know how to finish. “Forget it.” Dean replies, saving Castiel. Castiel slightly smiles at Dean, glad to see him acting like himself once again.

“Well, you, on the other hand, you . . .” Dean clears his throat, as he gets up and walks forwards towards him. “Looking good.” Castiel wonders if Dean was going to say something else, but brushes it off. “So . . . are you back?” Dean questions. Castiel is amazed, for how could Dean be worried about his grace when he had just been a demon and the Mark of Cain was still a problem? Castiel hid it, however, as Dean Winchester never ceased to amaze him.

“At least temporarily. Yeah, it's a long story – Crowley, stolen grace. There's a female outside in the car.” Dean looks confused, and Castiel knows he is blabbering. “Another time,” Castiel finishes. “Well, thank you for, um . . . stepping in when you did,” Dean tells Castiel and Castiel nods a little. “What does Sam say? Does he want a divorce?” Dean questions as he heads back towards the bed and Castiel knows it would break Dean to never be able to see Sam again.

“I'm sure Sam knows that whatever you said,” _like you had with me,_ “or what you did, that wasn't really you. It certainly wasn't _all_ you,” Castiel clarifies. “I tried to kill him, Cas,” Dean insists as he messes with the bed a little. “Dean, you two have been through so much.” Dean looks unconvinced as he starts messing with his bed again. “Look, you're brothers. It'd take a lot more than trying to kill Sam with a hammer to make him want to walk away,” Castiel explains.

“You realize how screwed up our lives are that that even makes sense?” Dean questions, looking at Castiel. Castiel chuckles as the left corner of his lip quirk up into a small smirk as he looks down. 

“I'm glad you're here, man,” Dean tell him. Castiel nods at Dean, knowing this conversation was over, that as soon as Sam got back, he had a mission he needed to return to. Castiel turns away, ready to exit the door and wait for Sam, who wouldn't be too long now. “Hey, maybe you should, um . . . take some time before you get back to work – Allow yourself to heal. It's, uh . . . I don't know. Timing might be right. Heaven and hell – they seem reasonably back in order. It's quiet out there.” _And it would ease my worries for a little longer too, knowing you're safe._

Castiel turns back, leaving as he closes the door behind him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Link to [book cover](http://megacookie2002.deviantart.com/art/Dean-the-Demon-668886791)
> 
> Join me on [tumblr](https://ao3megacookie2002.tumblr.com)


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